This is why celebrity Survivor is a bad idea.

Episode 3 Photo Gallery

Matt vs. Fran

Inagural Duel

Inagural Duel

Fran had a Big Lead

Fran had a Big Lead
Everyone thought it was over... But

It Came Down to the Last Key

It Came Down to the Last Key
And Fran came up short

When Out Of No Where

When Out Of No Where
Matt came back to win Redemption

Matt Wins the Duel

Matt Wins the Duel

Fran is First Out

Fran is First Out

Zapatara Six Solidarity

Zapatara Six Solidarity
They agree to throw the challenge

Try as she might

Try as she might
Stephanie's effort is in vain as her tribe loses on purpose

Ometepe Wins Reward

Ometepe Wins Reward

And Immunity

And Immunity

We Need a Fourth

We Need a Fourth
Russell and his girl's strategize

Russell Reaches Out

Russell Reaches Out
But Julie Doesn't Buy it and Sends Him to Redemption

A Fuming Russell Promises He'll Be Back

A Fuming Russell Promises He'll Be Back

Survivor Theme by Russ Landau

Who will find the idol?

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Commentary (10)

Let me first state that I have seen every episode of Survivor from B.B's boot in Borneo to tonight's fiasco, and never, ever, have any come close to this, "The Best Tribal Council Ever." High Drama, high brow strategem, high jinx, and by the end of it all, high blood pressure and beats per minute. I enjoyed it so much I rewatched it immediately and now, after the encore am blogging it. But for cbs this post would be published presently, however I cannot do a thorough walkthrough without a streaming feed. I'd simply tire myself out running from the living room to the office e're two to three minutes, from tv to desk top and back, thus this week tis cbs not I who delay the relay, your fix my addicted friend must suffer till the 'marrow.
Some time later:
And were back, sorry for the delay but hey, not my fault, and if delays such as this perturb you so then feel free to donate an expensive lap top to yours truly. (What? Televangelists do it all the time? Okay I'm out of line, that's fine. Let's move on down the line and exposite this eventful episode as it unfolds.
Commentary 10
Day 25
We open at hero beach were the weary tribe wants desperately to merge, seems the monotony of life on the island has reached an all time high. Survivor somehow always manages to wait until the tribes have reached their lowest low before shaking things up and it seems they've timed it right yet again. Colby: "This is exponentially worse than I ever remember." Rupert and Amanda go to check treemail and find a treasure chest... but no key. The note attached informs them that "company will be arriving soon."
Meanwhile at camp villain Parv and Danielle have found a key in their treemail. After bringing it back to they unroll the parchment to find a map, to the heroes camp and all are excited at the prospect of a merge. (Sandra, if possible, more so than most.)
We then see the foursome, all villains excluding Sandra, huddled discussing the plan to infiltrate the heroes, by playing on their assumptions. The plan is hatched, Russell will tell JT that he and Parvati both played their idols simultaneously, thus explaining why she's still in the game.
We then hear the rustling of leaves and are shown sneaky Sandra spying on the secret meeting. (I think back to Pearl Islands where Sandra and T army crawled to spy on Fairplay and Burton, effectively exposing the T to the fact that Fairplay wasn't playing fair.)
Danielle must have heard a twig snap or perhaps has seen the Pearl Islands DVD and cautions her allies to hush, saying, "You know Sandra's walkin' around out there." We then see Sandra, who's heard enough, gather her belongings and scamper off. Russell then tells the camera that he believes he has the only immunity idol in pocket, and that the only people who know about it are the people who have to, i.e. his whole tribe minus Sandra. The villains then pack up their camp (yet again) and head down the beach to their new home.
Cue the conch shell:
Opening Credits
V-Day

The Villains Storm Hero Beach

As though to taunt the opposition, Parvati leads the march (invasion) onto hero beach.

JT: "Is that Parvati?"
We then get an interview where Parv refers to herself as Queen, Russell as King, and Danielle as her Lady in Waiting.
JT, still assuming, figures Parvati must have played her idol too, therefore there are no more idols in play.

Russell then gives the men of the heroes tribe a warm embrace.

(Russell: JT, is that a plantain in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?)
Russell not only has the key to JT's heart but also to the heroes' treasure chest wherein they find a huge hunk of ham, fresh fruit and brand new buffs. Finally they have merged into one tribe.

The first order of business (after eating) is to determine a new tribe name, Sandra in hip-hop fashion suggests "Hillains," Parv "Yin Yang," and Jerri "All Villains" because she clarifies, "We're all villains," to which Colby who knows her all too well, can only shake his head saying, "Reeally Jerri?"

The tribe agrees their new name will be Yin Yang. (Not, Ying Yang. It irks me.)
It's not the worst "tribal" name ever, remember "Nobag?" Gabon spelled backwards.

As the day progresses Parvati is feeling ignored by her new tribe mates, (I don't think her feelings were hure per se, I think she was insulted that she wasn't getting what she felt was her due respect.) We then see her moping on the beach all alone in self pity, when DD approaches to see if she's alright. She vents to double D and then is shown telling production, "I'm offended by the way these heroes are treating me. They don't know it yet, but they're about to get picked off, one by one." (Insert square-smile here.)

A Snake in the Hen House

Russell joins JT and Rupert in the shelter to assure them that he is firmly with them to the end. He lays it on thick by saying, "This is the first time I've felt safe since day four.) Rupert asks him, "When did Parvati use her idol?" and Russell says, "At the same exact time I played mine" even going so far as to stand up and re-enact the event for effect. He then swears on his kids that he is, "On board with ya'll" and with these words he wobbles on, leaving JT to tell Rupert, "I told you. He's solid man. He's a good ol' country boy."

Cut to JT admitting in an interview that, "Giving Russell the idol could blow up in my face, he could be leading the women. (but, wait for it) Do I believe it? Not a chance in the world. I trust him explicitly." (And why shouldn't he, he's only a Villain!!!)
The scene closes with Russell alone on the beach saying into the camera, "Hook, line, and sinker, their bitting everything I tell 'em. This is gonna be way easier than I thought.

Old Friends

Rupert approaches Sandra on the beach, and she is quick to snitch on her tribe, "Oh my God, Rupert, listen. I'm the last of my alliance." She is then shown in interview saying, "I don't forgive and I don't forget." Rupert then asks her, "What happened last night?" And she goes on to spill the beans saying, "They didn't want me and Courtney over here together. That's why Courtney had to go. I'm the last one standing and I have to be babysat, and if they catch me talkin' I'm gone next. Russell's the kingpin and Parvati is the second in command. You guys are done, starting with the men. I gotta keep you on the lo-low I'll tell you what I know tho'. (Nice rhyme) Whatever Russell says, he's lying if he says the women are running the show. (sho-show?)

Cut to Rupert giving an interview saying, "Sandra just gave me some really good information: Russell said he played the idol last night. That is not true. If Sandra is true? And I have to believe Sandra, then Russell is playing us. (He does have to believe Sandra they were best friends in Pearl Islands and she was always loyal to him. Would she have lied to him? Probably, if necessary, but she never did, and that's all he knows for sure. (Fo' sho-show?)

The scene cuts with Rupert saying "This is where the game gets crazy. (Fo' sho!)

The Battle of Bannana Peel

Day 26
The unified Yin Yangs sit down for a sizeable breakfast, seems food is a plenty on the former hero beach, after consuming their portion of eggs, the girls, P&DD, have not had their fill. They start in on the bananas rippening nearby. This act brings echoed dissent from the former heroes: JT: "I still got breakfast on me."

Colby: "We just ate."

Rupert: "Why do they want to eat again..." (Bordom? Hunger? Human nature?)

Quote of the episode, Rupert: "They're a greedy @$$, eatin' @$$, pain in the @$$ tribe."

On down the line goes the grumble. And so to the rumble of the tides of war.

Heard it Thru the Grapevine

(If we have grapes why are we b!+ch!ng 'bout bananas?)

The heroes all gather out in the woods for a secret strategy session, wherein Rupert warns his tribe that Russell is playing them according to Sandra. However JT isn't buying it, even Amanda, who has hardly said two words this season, chimes in to agree with JT, saying that Parvati wouldn't still be in the game if she didn't play an idol, ergo Russell must be telling the truth. (Objection your Honor, speculation!
Sustained.)
It's scary when the most strategic thinker in your alliance is Rupert, but apparently the presence of his former ally Sandra has sparked something in the pirate, he must have caught a wiff of those strategic pheromones seeping from savvy Sandra during their brief encounter on the beach, for he is now the sole sane voice in the hero alliance, "He's on the villains side for a reason."
The newly annointed tribe mastermind (Rupert) then goes on to lay out a plan to test Russell, (The same plan employed by Earl in Fiji when testing Dreamz) Rupert advises they tell Russell to vote Parvati, but then at the last minute they would all change their vote, presumably to Jerri. (Good move, slightly obvious, but for someone with Rupert's track record, it's a brilliant deduction.)
Amanda is then shown in interview saying, they would go along with the plan, "Just so Rupert's Okay" and that, "We don't want to make a dumb decision (Too late) and lose our lead, that would be awful." (I predict an awe filled day.)
back to the meeting where Amanda tells Rupert he's paranoid, and JT adds, "You are, you're sweatin', you're scarin' yourself into a frantic out here. Do not believe Sandra! That's the main thing you've got to remember." (Don't trust your friend Rupert. Rather, put your faith in this beady eyed stranger instead.
Cut to JT on the beach telling the camera, "Ruupert, ha ha ha, there's a reason I've been doing Rupert's strategical play f0r him thus far, it's because, he needs to be told how to vote by someone... I just keep reminding him, like Rupert, think about this for a minute. Do you believe what Sandra told you? Or, do you believe the obvious truth? (Oi vey.)
We break huddle with Rupert explaining to Sandra that he doesn't trust anyone who would swear on their kids lives. (Or, their dead Grandma.)
Day 27
Parvati and Amanda sneek off to have a chat. Amanda warns Parv that everyone is after her, and that she will probably be the person the heroes vote for if she doesn't win immunity. Both girls are keeping their cards close to their chests, but Parv does get Amanda to promise to tell her who everyone is voting for no matter what. Parv then asked her, "Do you swear you're going to be totally honest with me?" To which Amanda responds by, shaking her head no will saying yes with her lips. (Now I'm no body language expert, but I think that is called a tell.) Parvati then shocked us all, I think, by telling Amanda she had another immunity idol. (I've gone back and forth as to whether or not this was a good mood. Where I stand now is, yes, I think it was smart. Disclosing this info to Amanda, aside from being a play for her trust, also allowed Parv to get a more honest read on her, as well as set the stage for the upcoming tribal council, more on that later.) The scene ends with a secret hand shake and a "I trust you" or two.
Immunity Challenge
Again, if I may be so bold as to speak for you, we were disappointed by the lack of effort these all-stars continue to show when comes challenge time. I think back to the Outback where Tina (no spring chick) and Keith stood on a post in the middle of the ocean for eight plus hours, come to think of it Colby quit then too. I don't see any of these prima donnas, I mean all-stars ever lasting that long, whatever the challenge, be it, stand still for eight hours, don't talk for eight hours, (Okay omit the latter, Candice and Amanda have mimed their way to day 27 so eight hours to them is cake.) But nonetheless the heart of this cast has been gone since Rob left, and to a far lesser extent Coach too. The thing is neither Coach or Rob would have proformed much better than Colby, but they would have tried, and surley would have fallen off rather than step down. Colby just isn't playing the same game this time around. Accept it ladies it's true.
Anywho, how, could I fail to mention this tribes origin, Jeff only mentioned the seasons relevant to those in the game, i.e. Cook Islands and Tocantines but this challenge actually comes from Vanautu, (great season, available on DVD, Chris,Eliza, Twila, Scout, Ami, Juli) where Chris the lone man standing and eventual winner (And my pick for Best of the Best) literally fell after scratching and clawing with effort. Eliza fell from the top rung, and her skinny frame nearly shattered on impact. At to top it off and end this trip to the past, the challenge was ultimatley won by Twilla (an old lady).
Multiple Hidden immunity idols are much to blame for this lackadaisical spirit in challenges. I mean if you, or your alliance already have two idols in pocket then why exert the effort for an immunity that's not even secret.
I think this is a problem seeing as challenges take up such a large portion of the show. If the contestants don't need it they won't bleed for it.
(OMG some tangent, jeez you'd think you ate my banana's or something.)
Immunity Challenge
Take Two
Jeff informs the survivors that tribal immunity is no more, and what they seek is individual immunity. Historically this, the first post merge immunity challenge, is the most competitive of the season, lets see if this holds true. (Referance, rant above)
Colby and Sandra are the first two down, and Probst clearly disappointed in the Colbster asks if he likewise is disappointed that he is out so fast. But Colby said not at all based on the previous challenge (the Passion of Coach.)
Russell falls next. Followed by Rupert, Amanda, JT who must have been a little worried about tribal because he put up a good fight but eventually fell leaving the women to battle it out.
After an hour and a half Jerri drops out complaining of dehydration, "Too bad," Sandra says, "We drank all your water."
Candice then shocks everyone, especially Jeff Probst, by voluntarily stepping down, (Jeff is right to wonder at this, she did excellent in Cook Islands, only losing to Ozzy, perhaps who is part monkey. I honestly think it was bad strategy for her to give up right after Jerri dropped, I think Parvati knew right then that Jerri or Sandra would be the target at tribal not her, Candice I think stepped down because she'd accomplished what she set out to do, make sure Sandra nor Jerri won immunity. She mistakenly telegraphed her move though.)
Parvati then steps down at her lady's request, leaving Double D to win immunity, after a wardrobe malefunction she is awarded the necklace and the villainous alliance is sitting pretty going into tribal having control of every immunity idol in play.
The heroes now suspect Parvati has the idol. (Just what she wants them to think.)
Back at camp JT and Colby talk, Colby suggests getting rid of Sandra (I thought that was classy not to throw Jerri under the bus, he was even really nice to her in the tribal council voting secret scene, saying he was proud of her and the way she's played.)
JT however rightly points out that Jerri is better in challenges, however no one seems to acknowledge that she is also the only villain who has thus far told them the truth and attempted to help them, they seem at this point to be dismissing her as a potential ally, tho according to preview this may soon change.
Cut to Sandra in interview saying, she doesn't want her big mouth to get her in trouble, and that she wants Russell out but right now, she's stuck with him.
We then see Russell go and dig up his hidden hidden immunity idol, and in true puppy dog fashion he brings it, panting, to the feet of his master, the Queen P.
"Thanks honey, you shouldn't have."
Russell tells Production that his plan A is to give Parv the idol so she can save herself, and then say, "I don't have a plan B." (Note that you mindless Russell drones, if Parv wouldn't have taken matters in her own hands, if she would have went along with Russell's plan the villains would have been down in numbers. But I jump ahead.
Parvati then shows off both her little green men to the camera saying Russell's keeps her safe tonight while hers insures her safety for the rest of the game.
She then confidently says, "Everybody out here wants to get rid of me. They say I'm the most dangerous player in the game. I guess there right. I really didn't think they were right until right now. Now I really think they're right."
Cut to Parv and Amanda in another secretive meeting.
Wow is Amanda a horrible liar or what?
I guess Todd and Parv really did carry her in China and Micronesia.
She fails miserably to convince Parv that the vote is headed her way.
As the tribe heads off to tribal we hear Parvati in an interview saying, "It's hard to really know who they're voting for. If they say they're voing me out and I play the idol, then the idols gone and it's just risky. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, unless you pick the right person."
Tribal Council
The Jury is introduced and Parv gives a cleaned up Courtney a whistle. (The "Life at Ponderosa" videos on cbs.com should be required viewing for any survivor addict.) I think it's clear that Courtney and Coach are going to be rock stars on the jury (seriously see the Ponderosa vids, there's a band in the works, it's hilarious.)
The Jury now in place Courtney throws Sandra a long distance fist bump.
Jeff asks Rupert how life is at camp Yin Yang and Rupert rehashes the whole banana etiquette shpeel, "I haven't had a ripe banana since they got here... Ba-Na-Na!"
Russell then answers a query from Probst, "Tonights vote will dictate the rest of the game. This is the most important vote that I've ever been a part of, if a villain goes home then the heroes are gonna be in the top five (and vice-versa) thats just how its gonna work tonight. That's gonna happen."
Colby: "Well maaaybe we haven't approached Parvati yet because we know she's gonna be around a few more days, so, there's another angle." (Insert Donaldson smirk here.)
I don't really see the logic in Colby's speech. The heroes want Parvati to play the idol, why hint she may be safe? I suppose he thought it would make it more believable but, I must be blind to that line of sight.
Probst: "Well, I don't think we've had a bigger vote."
The Vote
Parvati writes JT a love letter in the form of a ballot for his boot from the game, signing xoxo, in mockery of his failed attempt to target her.
Sandra sports a shirt that says, "1/2 my heart is in Afganistan.
Colby walked faster to the ballot box than he's ran in most challenges.
When the votes are all cast and Probst finishes his whole tallying thing, he returns and asks if anyone has an immunity idol they'd like to play, intstructing them, "Now would be the time to do so." And as expected Parvati goes reaching for her bag of tricks. She pulls out the idol and shocker of the century, gives it two Sandra. Yes you read correctly, Sandra Diaz-Twine. Yes, the sassy Latina lady. I know, well believe it.
The heroes once again prove that they are not prepared to play this game against the likes of the villains. Their reaction to her giving the idol to Sandra left no doubt to the slightly observant eye that she had to give the other to Jerri, the sheer joy on the heroes faces had betrayed them. When she then did the unthinkable and gave the second idol to Jerri, they could no better control their emotions. JT's "Damnit" told the villains they'd won before Jeff ever read a vote. Everyone there knew JT was gone, the reading of the votes was merely a formality. (He signed his death warrent with that letter to Russell and his torch was snuffed the second he gave away immunity.)
JT shakes Russell's hand and says well done. (Which was wierd, when one considers his misogynistic remarks on exit about, "Don't ever trust women, ever, ever, ever." (A woman, Sandra, tried to warn yo @$$.)
We cannot conclude without reviewing Russell's ineffectiveness this episode. He has been out of the loop for two episodes now, he totally dropped the ball strategically by only having a plan A, and was shocked along with the heroes at Parvati's antics. It's not lookin good for Russell Hantz folks, he hasn't even reffered to himself in the third person lately, it could be curtains soon.
Jeff Probst closes the episod with a speech as allways, "Well in a game full of crazy moves, that was one of the craziest. With tonights vote it certainly appears that the villains have the upper hand but you know better that anybody, anything can and probably will, still happen in this game. (Fo-sho!)
Next Time on Survivor
Will Sandra cut some throats?
Is there an idol hid in Ruperts beard?
A birds nest perhaps?
Since mastering the fetch command: Will Parvati next teach Russell to roll over and play dead?
Will the band, "the Dragons" be headlining tribal council anytime soon.
See: Life at Ponderosa, JT on Drums, Coach on Guitar, and Courtney on lead vocals, coming soon to a dive near you.

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1 comment:

  1. I think the smart thing to do would be to get rid of Parvarti. But, I know this will not happen. If Sandra plays it smart she could be in this for a long time. I look for Russell to be voted out tonight. Unless Parv deicides ro string him along a little longer. I'f so, Colby is probably the next victim. I predict that Jerri will continue to play a smart game. Rupert really does not pose much of a threat. Candice will probably play strategically. But I don't know If Amanda is smart enough to follow along or even be trusted by the girls. Now that I think about it, she MAY be the next to leave.

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