Survivor Addiction: Commentary (9)

The episode opens with the villains returning from tribal council minus a Dragonslayer. Sandra is shown taking the credit, while Jerri says she, "didn't see that coming at all." She then asks Danielle if she would be the next to go; to which DD asures her she is not a target, going so far as to give Jerri her word that she would not write her name down. Though she was essentially betrayed Jerri knows she has trapped herself into a corner and says to production that she is going to stick with her newly formed alliance. (She has no choice, to attempt to reallign with Sandra and Courtney to force a 3-3 tie, would not only be poor strategy, but would probably sign her ticket to Ponderosa, as S&C would just run and tell Russell, and we all know what happens next... heads roll.)
Jerri then continues her rounds, now she asks Russell, "Did you know it was going to happen?" to which Russell gave her the impression that he, "had a strong feelin'" but that he, "wasn't going to write his name down." (This was a good play for Jerri, and in light of a theme this episode, i.e. "Who can amass the most troops, Russ or Parv?" We can start the count with one in Russell's pocket.) We end the scene with Russell admitting to production he knew full well the way of the vote, and assures that Sandra or Courtney, the only two he doesn't trust will be the next to go, prognosticating, "I promise you that."
Cue the conch shell.
Opening Credits

Still at camp Villain where the tribes receive an early morning tree mail. (Don't go tearing down your camp yet folks, its not a merge.) The tribes learn of an impending reward challenge, but not just any: as if to pay homage to Coach they will be competing in the last challenge he took part in before JT and Stephen booted him from the game and the "Warrior Alliance" in Tocantines. I've always reffered to this challenge as "The Passion of Coach." Take yourself back a few seasons past, remember Coach, the last remaining player in the game to go to exile island, decides to take the "monasic approach" and doesn't eat or drink for the entire three day sojourn. He then returns to the immunity challenge, parched and begging for water, he then goes on to do quite well in the challenge only to lose to JT. What made this challenge so memorable and also earned it the title above was Coach's antics, it looked as though he were crucified, and in true messianic fashion he even cried out before giving up his spirit (and his chance at the million bucks). One of my all time favorite challenges, and finally a chance for the "little women" to prove their worth.
The villains have no problem deciphering the clue, correctly identifying the challenge. Courtney even makes fun of Coach's aforementioned, bellow. The clue tells them to order their tribe strongest to weakest. Russell says he's clearly the strongest "physically" but knows he's probably the weakest for this particular comeptition because he's the heaviest. (Really? And here I thought it was Courtney.) The girls decide it best for Russell to sit out, and they are rightfully confident in their chance to win. Jerri then says that the heroes will probably make the mistake of ranking their guys as strongest, due to their, "big egos." (Who? What? Nooo!)
Cut to camp Hero, where we see them debating ranking order as well, the first person to chime in is Rupert saying, "I'll be able to do great at this." To which JT asks, "Do you think you'll do the best?" And Rupert in confident assurance says, "Yes." (Moronovich!) JT, the previous winner of this challenge mind you, says, "the bigger you are the harder it is." Putting Rupert on the defensive saying, "if you guys want to put me weakest that's fine but..." But JT cuts him off saying fine "I'll take the weakest if you're to proud to take it." To which Rupert can only laugh.
We then see Rupert giving an interview saying he thinks he's the strongest of the eleven remaining players. (What is with the cape? Does Rupert really believe he's a super hero.)
Reward Challenge
Both tribes arrive at the challenge, the heroes get their first look at the new villain tribe and wouldn't you know, that damn fictitious women's alliance has done it again, Coach is gone. Rupert then for the second week in a row makes the same horrible move of airing his suspicions to the enemy ears saying, "looks like that women's alliance is very strong, it's kind of obvious." (Idiot, someone cut out his tongue, it's bad enough to be dellusional but to tell your competitor your falsely grounded presuppositions is illogical and twice, that's unforgivable. Yet his tribe didn't bat an eye either time. Is their a brain in this bunch of heroes? Apparently not, keep reading for proof.) Rupert's assumption brings visable joy to Russell's face and Jeff informs the tribes that an Outback Steakhouse feast awaits the winners (shrimp on the barbie, yay! Dingo dinners where getting old fast.) The contestants take their pre-determined positions with some interesting match-ups.
Daniel vs. Candice
Courtney vs. Amanda
BFF's Jerri vs. Colby
Parvati vs. JT
Sandra vs. Rupert
while Russell sits on the sideline pining for JT's attention.
A rather comical moment occures when Rupert leans over to tell Sandra he, "loves her" to which she responded with her typical "nigga please" facial expression.
We then are told that Amanda has become the first survivor to make the one hundred day mark in the game of Survivor. (Congrats Amanda, what an accomplishment.) This earns more ghetto lingo from sassy Sandra, "you go girl." (Let us review Sandra's street cred: First, the Obama fist bump, with a "watch your homie," then the "nig please" and now a "go girl" to grow on. Shorty doesn't want to be a thug, she is one, and that's why we love her.)
As the competion move on, Sandra tells Jeff that Outback is her "spot," and in a nice touch adds, "before my husband went to Afganistan we ate their twice in one week." This was a good move it never hurts to play the military card. (He is a sgt. in the Army.) Oh yeah did anyone notice Sandra wearing a feather in her hair this episode? Was it in mockery of Coach? I think she pulled it off better than he, it even matched her outfit.
OMG, then we see JT lip the words "hang in there" to Russell who responds in an Oscar worthy proformance, pitching praying hands in supplication. (I don't think I've ever mentioned how unfair it is that nobody was able to see Russell's season before they got out there, (for those unaware, the filming of H vs. V began only two short weeks after Samoa wrapped, thus his season hadn't even aired by the time this season began.) had the heroes or villains for that matter seen his gameplay he'd be gone by now, and JT certainly wouldn't even have considered an idol transfer. But what's done is done, hopefully the cast will get a clue before it's too late.
Colby drops first awarding Jerri the win, Villains lead 1-0, were going to three.
Sandra then making a case for health-care reform says that she gave birth twice without so much as an asprin.
And soon after Rupert (the self proclaimed strongest) falls giving Sandra the second point for the villains, she then drives home the point by staying up there an extra minute. Villains lead 2-0.
Amanda is the last to fall, and what do you know the so called "poster child for weak survivors" Courtney earns the winning point for her tribe. The villains sweep the challenge 3-nill, and to Sandra's delight, a bloomin' onion awaits. (Did someone call for a "wambulance?")
Villain's Reward
At the makeshift Outback Steakhouse the villains celebrate their win, Sandra proceeds to down a few margarita's and is visably inebriated, referring to the waiter as "homie," "Come here homie, give me that homie," as he brings her another glass to put her on her a$$.
The tribe sits down to dine and Parvati,lucky as always finds a clue to a new hidden immunity idol in her napkin, she quickly, subtly, stashes said clue in her panties. (Finally a non communal clue.) Imagine what a game changer it would have been, had Courtney sat one seat over, but she didn't. So the villains enjoy their meal while poking a few jabs at the heroes assumption of an all girl alliance, and we cut to Jerri who informs us that, "Russell is running the show."
Parvati then excuses herself from the table and as ever is shadowed by Danielle, to whom Parv discloses her secret stash, the clue is then transferred from the nether regions of Parvati to the cleavage of Double D for safe keeping. Parv then tells production that the reason she shared this information with Danielle was to ensure that she would feel closer to her than Russell. She then states that, "we'll fill Russell in on a need to know basis and, right now Russell doesn't need to know, so he's not gonna know." You go girl, as Sandra would say. (If you're still counting in pocket players, chalk one up for Parvati.)
Back now to camp Hero, where JT the ranch-hand says, "You know what, I don't give a damn about no steak. I've eaten at least a thousand steaks in my time (easy on the red meat buddy.) and here is when we get our first glimpse at his plan to change the game, he tells Colby, "If we win this next immunity challenge, I've got a plan" wink wink. (But thanks to yet another spoiler in previews we already know what this plan is.) Colby responds, "uh-oh JT's got a plan." (Uh-oh is right Co-conspirator Colbster.)
Amanda isn't so sure about JT's big plan saying to production, "I think it's really crazy to give Russell the idol, we don't know what's going on over there. He could be in with the girls for all we know. Like, we don't know." (Like, say something then! Unless you plan to flip to the girl side anyway.) We close the scene with Candice content that the idol will be out of JT's hands.
Now we go to Villain beach, where Double D and Parvati sneak off into Russell's woods in search of the idol, unbeknownst to King Troll. (I must say I loved to see Russell out of the loop.) The girls sneak across the bridge, seems the troll who normally charges toll has meandered to the beach, unawares of any and all goings on in his wooded realm. As the girls begin their dig at the "dancing tree" the troll is enroute and presumably insearch of the missing pair of P&D. They find the idol and quickly cover their tracks before heading back to camp one idol richer. Parvati is then shown in interview saying she's the "happiest girl in the world" and that she "has control of the game right now. (I think she's right.) She then says she doesn't plan to tell Russell yet because she wants him "out of the loop for a little bit" and that she doesn't "see anything wrong with making him wait..." (Whoa!?! We are still talking about the idol aren't we?) she adds that it doesn't mean she doesn't trust him she just "wants to see him squirm." (Parvati better either use that idol to boot him or to save him, because if she was to tell him at some later date, or if he was to find out she'd been keeping it from him, he'd cut her throat. Garunteed.) Before the scene cuts we see an elated Parv saying that Russell isn't the king of Survivor, rather she's the queen, and the king does what the queen says anyway so she's cool. (Yeah cool like Anne Boleyn whom her king slew.) The funniest moment of the episode follows where the girls, shovel in hand, scamper off the beaten path just before Russell wobbles past, the sneaky music was a nice touch, and a shout out to Survivor's audio deparment on a job well done.
Check Yes or No
Back again to hero beach now (oh, and above when I spoke of the funniest moment, yeah void that statment for what follows.
Dear Russell,

I saw you in the cafeteria today sitting all alone. It's so sad that those girls pick on you so, calling you stinky and all the other nasty things they say, I just wanted to let you know that I care about you, tho' you may feel all alone, know you're not. Oh and enclosed with a Valentine's day card is an immunity idol, use it to vote out Parvati.
x's and o's
Your Bro, JT

(That is not verbatim, only what I gathered between guffaws.)
Immunity Challenge
The tribes arrive at the challenge (I believe this one's from Pearl Islands, but I could be mistaken) a relay race, starting things off is Rupert for the heroes and Jerri for the villains. Rupert smokes Jerri, giving JT a sizable lead for the second leg. With the strong start the heroes never look back dominating the challenge. We then get to see that JT isn't soley responsible for the blunder, as Colby and Russell are the only two left on the platform, Colby instructs Russell to "go see JT after the challenge" to recieve a gift which of course is the idol. It's a shame that this conversation happened as Courtney competed in her final challenge but it was definatly more important to the story line so I can't blame the editors for their choice to not air Court's coup de grace. (Did you notice the very heavens themselves crying out a thunderous warning when Colby and Russell talked, even God and the angels seemed to be saying "No!" At challenge end Russell scampers over to JT and a handoff smoother than any drug deal Sandra's old barrio has ever seen takes place as JT slides him the idol. (You don't pet a snake, mess with a feeding dog, and you sure as hell don't give Russell an immunity idol.) I've been pretty hard on Russell this season, but he is the undisputed king of the hidden immunity idol. He even says, "I don't even have to find idols anymore, people are actually giving them to me. You don't hand the enemy the idol, especially when his name is Russell Hantz. You don't do that, that's a no no." Of course he's correct, and a former winner like JT should know as much.
We go now to hero beach where the five remaining heroes gloat over the succesfully executed idol exchange, JT saying we made history today boys. (If he only knew that history is written by the victors and he just cast himself in the loser role.)
Cut now to camp villain: What is Parvati laughing about? Oh, seems JT's explicit direction to "read this in absolute privacy" has not been heeded, as we see Parv reading aloud to her alliance the contents of the letter. (I loved the mission imposible line at the end of the note, "destroy after reading.") Parvati after a little letter improv says, "I can't believe he wrote you a note. What is wrong with him? I can't believe that kid won." (It does boggle the mind.)
We are then shown Court and Sandra walking alone in the woods knowing they will be next to go, and they both say how different this season is from their previous showings where each was totally in controll of their respective games. We then see the decision makers Parv, DD, and Russell agree that Courtney will be the one going home tonight, and Russell says in an interview that he feels Courtney is more likely to flip. (Infact either would.) But Court is not going down without a fight, as we see her approach Parv saying, if they keep her Amanda will be more likely to flip. (She will in my opinion flip with or without Courtney, for Amanda if nothing else is an oppertunist.) Courtney then promises to stay loyal to Parv and the scene ends with her campaining for Jerri's oust. Parv then runs to her alliance in an attempt to gently sway the vote but she must tred cautious as to not raise suspicion in Russell's eyes.
Tribal Council
The first member of the jury, kimosabe Coach arrives looking like samuri warrior or rather a Steven Segal knock-off garbbed in full kimono. Jeff then asks Russell if tonights vote is going to be based on physicality, to which he responds, no, it's all about trust. Danielle then in a red herring moment accuses Sandra of being manipulative, and Sandra acts shocked at such an accusation. (It was all an act, she know she is perhaps the most manipulitive player left in the game.) Danielle further accuses Sandra of being Rob's sidekick, but Sandra throws it back in her face calling her Parv's lap dog. Jeff then asks Parv if she is the boss, and she confidently responds, "Of course, if you ask the heroes I am."
Courtney then goes on to describe for Jeff the tribal dynamic, stating that originally Jerri was with the Robfather alliance, but Jerri in a bit of historical revisionism say, "no, I never asked to be a part of their alliance." But Courtney the realist is having no part of it saying that Jerri just happened to sell out at the right time whereas she and Sandra didn't flip soon enough, so "awesome for you Jerri." The tribe then votes and after Jeff tallies the results Courtney is voted out, but not before giving Kimosabe an I'm coming to join you at Ponderosa wink. Quote of the episode, "So long bitches" Courtney's final words. Jeff the informs us that tomarrow Parv will join Amanda as the only two players to reach one hundred days in the game of Survivor.
Next Time on Survivor
The tribes finally merge.
Will the women unite?
Will the heroes heed Sandra's warning?
Is JT's slobbering love affair with Russell over?
Will Amanda finally say something interesting?
(Of course she won't, but tonights episode will certainly be interesting, so tune in and enjoy the spectacle.)
until next time, keep those torches lit.

Here is a fun video splicing two of my favorite shows:
I'd intended to post a clip from Survivor Cook Islands alum Sundra Oakley's appearence on Lost, season 6 episode 10"Happily Ever After" which aired last week but was unable to find it on youtube so here is a consolation prize, the intro to, "Lost: Saints vs. Sinners"