The Hang Over

We've all experienced the feeling, the day after wild drunken debauchery or revelry the question is ever the same, "What the hell did I do last night?" Most often we do recall our actions, only we can't comprehend the thought process that led us to those acts universally regretted by the sober and coherent mind. This was the theme of the Villain tribe, while that of the Heroes can be summed up with a quote from the journals of Coach Ben Wade, "Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups." (A Voyage Beyon Reason, ch. 2, free audio book, see site links)





Commentary (8)


The Episode opens with a tribute to Boston Rob. A greatest hits clip plays as Jeff eulogizes the untimely departure of one of the all time greats. Cut to Russell and his girls who celebrate yet another victory, and yet another interview of Russell reffering to himself in the third person, (I sure wish they would interview someone else for a change, I have Russell fatigue after two consecutive seasons of the same confessional played on a loop.)


We are then shown Parv telling Danielle how much she loves blindsiding people, (you'd think after three seasons on the show she'd know what a blindside was, but she apparently cannot grasp the concept.) Coach over hears the girl's gloating and is shown in interview blaming the "cowardice" of his tribe for Boston Rob's departure. (Pot meet kettle.) He then calls Russell a bully, and the camera pans to Coach and Jerri on the beach suffering the effects of a tribal council hangover, Jerri says, "I hope we did the right thing. I didn't want to vote off Rob this early, I miss him already." To which Coach responds, "Well then why were you so quick to get rid of him?" (Good question.) Jerri acts as though shocked that Coach would assume the obvious, and says, "I wasn't quick to get rid of him. What are you talking about?" (By my math she only waited till the third chance she had, seems kind of quick.) Coach then, in a rare moment makes strategic sense by asking Jerri if they were going to the final five with Russell or if they were going to make a play. But apparently Jerri has expended all of her stretegic juices at the nights festivities, for she is content to just, "see what happens at the merge. (Assuming they will both last that long. Oops.) Coach then tells production that the villains are in the crapper and that he doesn't think they'll win another challenge, (I concur) furthermore, "We're done, pray for the merge."





Cue the conch shell.


Opening Credits





Hero beach: Colby and Rupert work on the shelter, while Candice and Amanda wonder, "Where's J.T.?" And wouldn't you know he's down at the creek looking for the immunity idol. (Wasn't it him that suggested they look together? Ah, very sneaky.) Interestingly the secret scenes from espisode seven show Amanda, Rupert, and Candice had all looked for it to no avail, Amanda even made Candice cry by falsely accussing her of having it. Anyway, Amanda along with Candice) has been supspicious of J.T. for awhile now, and decides it would be best to check in on him. Heading straight for the know location, she catches J.T. with his hands down his pants.


Before J.T. could stash his newly found treasure Amanda rounds the bend. Knowing he's just been busted J.T. decides to come clean and share the information with his entire tribe. The plan is the same (so he says) will use it against the villains. And we see the suspicious couple, Candice and Amanda, clearly not buying it, as they share their mutual suspicion of J.T.. (Was J.T. naive in saying to production, "nobody's gonna vote me out just cuz I have it"? Uh ya!) (And what's with Amanda's reading glasses, what, is she boning up on her Nietzsche between challenges? Does she know there's nothing to read out there besides tree mail?) Before we leave the heroes camp we see Candice say in an interview that, "J.T. is the slimiest guy out here, and he and his idol have to go."


Back at camp villain, the tribe is feeling the effect of losing Boston Rob. They look as though they're starving, and Coach confirms this saying they haven't eaten fish the entire time out here. (This is unacceptable, they were given a Hawaiian sling on day one, and as Jeff has said oft times past, if you can't catch food with this you don't deserve to be out here." We see Danielle and Russell eating shelled crabs, Danielle says she's ruining her teeth on them, and Russell says, "I know." (He just doesn't care. Have you seen his grill? Ruthless and Toothless.)


We then see Jerri whinning to Coach about how they're all gonna die if they don't get some real food. But Coach is in my opinion, over the whole alliance with Jerri thing, (I come to this conclusion based on his arumentative attitude towards her coupled with his facial expressions throughout the episode.) He simply disagrees with her, for he should know, he played the martyr role (as Erinn said) on Tocantines, by taking the "monastic approach" (which for those of you unfamiliar is, if you can't make fire with a flint and machette, just act like your starving yourself for the sake of fasting, to mask your ineptness.)





Reward Challenge/or Merge?


The villains read tree mail and assume (another theme this episode) they will be merging today so they decide to deconstruct their entire camp, and take all their heavy tools and awkward tarps on the trek to their assumed feast. (I haven't seen somebody fall so hard for the fake merge trick since Shii Ann in Thailand.)


Both tribes arrive at the reward challeng to see that a Pizza party awaits them. (Delivery, Digiorno? Who cares its food, and the villains are quite literally wasting away from starvation and malnutrtition.)


The Heroes reaction to seeing Boston Rob no longer in the game was priceless, an admix of shock and ecstacy colored thier faces, and they had to know that whatever the challenge today, their chances of victory just went through the roof. The heroes see the bagage the villains brought with them and begin to wonder what it was they missed in the letter from tree mail that indicated a merge. I think, much like in a desert, when dehydrated and on the verge of death the sun can play tricks on your eyes and mind, you start to see things that aren't really there, mirages. And that must have been what decieved the villains, they needed so desperately to merge and partake in feast that they read into the clue what they wanted to see.


Jeff then asks Rupert, the person in the game who knew Rob the best, (remember they were in an alliance that made it all the way to the final four in All-Stars) "Suprised that Rob is gone?" To which Rupert responds, "It sure looks like they've got an all womens alliance. (What's the old saying about assumptions?)


We then see J.T. mouthing the words, "Hang in there" to Coach. (I know the edit made it appear he was saying this to Russell, but trust me he was speaking to Coach, as he's done on more than one occassion this season. The edit did this to make next week without Coach more exciting.) Need I say what a huge mistake the heroes are making by assuming the girls are an alliance? Russell for his part plans to play up the odd "man" out (pun intended) card to his advantage. He then (again showing little sense) in a way only Russell can, manages to rub, the very people he thinks their about to merge with, the wrong way, by insulting them, saying, "If we do merge we're ready, they ain't."

Okay, now I must rant about the production/editor's whoever is responsible for spoiling the two biggest twist thus far. First: They ruined the suprise of individual immunity in epy six by showing the necklace on the "next time on Survivor" promo, the Secondly: the ruin the faux-merge by showing, again in the promo, Jeff saying, "Drop your... expectations." Yet they feel the need to make us think that Sandra is arguing with Danielle over some insignificant thing or other when she is actually arguing with Jerri, or whoever, the point is they've misled us on every preview thus far except the two times it mattered. (anyway nuff said.)

Then comes what should have been the most anticipated moment of the episode had it not been spoiled: Jeff rehashes the preview and says... (I'm not going to type it again, he said it twice, I once, that's enough.) And, anti-climax, no merge, the villains are bummed, the heroes pleased, Coach smells pizza, and wants a piece.

The camera pans, we see the challenge and (womp womp) it bowling. (Seriously? Coconut by God bowling?) How this challenge from Samoa last season qualifies as a great challenge from seasons past is beyond my comprehension. (It's awful, a horrible challenge, I dropped a duece during, didn't even bother rewinding the DVR. TMI?)

Coach then makes an unilateral decision against better judgment, and designates Courtney and Sandra to sit out, thus ensuring they compete for immunity later. Why? Because his starving!

So the challenge begins, Rupert beats Parv, J.T. out bowls Danielle, heroes lead 2-0. Can I just say, the sound effects this year have been amazing, for instance when came round three and Colby bounced the bowlingnut, if I could put the effect into text I would, (hillarious). Thus Russ beats Colby giving the villains their first post Rob point. Next up is Coach who loses to Amanda. "Heroes win immunity" says Jeff while doing that thing where he holds up two fingers on each hand. (peace Jeffery). The villains then proceed to pack up all their belongings and head back to rebuild their camp, while the heroes enjoy their reward.



Heroes Reward

We get the heroes reaction to Rob being gone, and I think Rupert said it best, "There insane voting him out. That was a silly move." They know, as is obvious, that if the villains were outmatched physically with Rob, then they're even more so now. (The villains have now lost three in a row, after voting out there two best atheletes in Tyson and Rob. They may not win again.) Oh then J.T. says he knew when he saw Rob was gone, that it was obvious there's an all women's alliance overthere. (I guess Stephen of Wizard fame really was the brains behind the opperation in Tocatines.)



Back at the villains beach, (I'd say camp but there isn't one) Jerri vents her frustration about how stupid it was to tare down the camp and how stupid it was to vote out Rob, and how stupid it was to sit Court and Sandra out of the challenge. (I get the idea she thinks her tribe is stupid.) Jerri then proceeds to vent infront of Sandra who can contain her Latina lip no mas. "I'm sittin right here." She tells Jerri rather calmly. Then after a brief lip lashing Sandra says to production, that, "This is the worst tribe ever. I shouldn't even be here, I should be with the heroes. (And she's right, she was loyal to the most popular heroe in the history of the game, Rupert in Pearl Islands. What exactly makes her a villain, that she felt no sympathy for a lying Johnny Fairplay when he said his grammy died, that she throught the fish away, that Rupert spent all day catching, so that those who orchestrated his demise couldln't enjoy it, or that she lied to liars like Lil and Fairplay. Furthermore why is Amanda a heroe and Parvati a villain, they were in cahoots the whole time in Micronesia, but I digress.)

Cut to Sandra and Courtney asessing their situation, Sandra suggests getting rid of Coach, she obviously has a pretty good read on him saying, "Think about it, Russell's the kind of person, who, if he finds out someones gunning for him, he'll take em out." And with that she employs the same strategy she had in Pearl Islands, some people make it through the game by making good alliances, Sandra however won the game by destroying them. She confidently assures Courtney that she will work her magic to ensure their survival. And with those words opperation "Slay the Slayer" is launched and the two break huddle, Sandra goes to work on Russell while Court coaxes Coach.

Cut to Sanra planting a Sandra seed in Russell's head, "I don't know about your homeboy. (Quote of the episode: "Russell's so stupid, he don't know how to play this game. Ya he's done good so far, but with me, he don't know what he got himself into. (This sounds like a Russell interview, if only she'd referred to herself in the third person, she didn't, so second will have to do. She's Sandra Diaz!)

Russell took the bait and promptly runs to Parvati and informs her, "Coach is gonna flip, he's mad about Rob and he's gonna try to stab me in the back." To which Parv asks, "Who does he think he is?" Russell then spins the whole situation to their favor saying, "If he goes then there's no doubt in the heroes' mind that there's a girls alliance." He then predicts that they will come straight to him to talk game, and the previews for next week indicate he's correct.



Immunity Challenge

The tribes arrive at the challenge and it is a throwback, of sorts, to Micronesia. I say "of sorts" because it has been modified. If you remember Jonathon Penner (one of my favorites) sustained an injury to his knee that became infected and led to him leaving on medical's recommendation. So what's changed? Well in Fans vs. Favs, two contestants from each tribe were tethered together as is done here, but the instead of simply racing through obstacles on their way to the finish line, in Micronesia, they were chasing after the opposing tribe and the team which tagged their opponents won. If you don't recall this, just think back, picture Chet (the weakest player in history, being dragged along like a rag doll by Joel, with a frusturated Joe calling Chet, "a ball of goo."
Round 1:
Russell and Sandra vs. Amanda and Candice
(When your tethered together your only as fast as your slowest. So,why did the Villains seperate Sandra and Court? This pretty much insured they would lose two points rather than just one if you grouped them and when the challenge only require two points for victory, you're essentially throwing it away. They should have gone with the strategy employed during the sumo challenge wherein they threw away Randy's point by putting him against James. Could that bit of strategy been B.Rob's sorely missed survivor brain at work?)

After nearly noosing herself Sandra ends the challenge by getting pinned in the mud beneath obstacle two? Villains lose round one.
Round 2:
Coach vs. Rupert
By far the best match up of the challenge. And kudos to Rupert, the big man slithered under those structures like his pet from Pearl Islands (like Balboa, R.I.P., a hillarious secret scene this week shows Amanda talking about Rupert's pet lizard this season, apparently there's such a breed of lizard called a "skank" anyway it's LOL funny to hear her complaining that, "Rupert keeps bringing the skanks back to camp." (now that is must see tv.)
But back to task, where Rupert's toe hindered him in the final foot race, allowing Coach to win the point, we're tied 1-1.
Round 3:
JT and Colby vs. "Double D" Danielle Delorenzo and Courtney
I wonder who will win this one?
Courtney hurts her ankle. (I don't think it will effect her in the challenges. How was she having difficulty going under the obstacle? Do birds have a problem flying thru open sky? Does floss struggle to get between Russell's teeth? No and no.
Heroes win their fourth straight challenge, and the villains, so dominant under the tutelage of Boston Rob early on, are headed back to tribal. "It's ova."

Cut to Double D in an interview remenicant of Coach last episode say, "I want Courtney gone." Her reason being that she is a competitor who hates losing. (Riiiight. Two words for ya honey: Tyson & Rob.)
The only silver lining for the villains is that after 29 days, all it took was a mud challenge to get Russell to bathe. There were probably a few less nats around camp that night.
Cut to Coach Dragon-flexing in the sun, saying, he'd like to get rid of Russell but doesn't want to further weaken the tribe. Looks like Courtney is in trouble. But wait, what's that growing out of Russell's ear? Could it be the sprout of the Sandra seed rooted in his paronoid mind?
Back round the campfire Double D tells Russell they need to keep Coach for the challenges, but Russell knows their going to lose until the merge anyway. (What if there is no merge? See: Palau.) Russell and Double D then proceed to have a heated argument within earshot of Sandra, (Big mistake) I don't think I've seen Russell so angry since that girl the first week in Somoa (Marissa, maybe?) said she didn't trust him, his response to her as to Double D was heatedly hostile. (I get the feeling Russell doesn't like to be second guessed. But he should be careful how he speaks to the ladies, because his in the minority, and women talk.
We then see Sandra informing Courtney of the argument she'd just heard between Danielle and Russell. And I have to believe that editing left something out, I pose that the girls formulated a plan to secure Danielle's and Parv's vote for Coach which for whatever reason, didn't make it to air. (That would explain why Danielle came up to Sandra and Courtney before leaving for tribal, but I'm getting ahead of myself.)
Moments after their heated discussion Russell approaches his girls and says he may have had a change of heart. Seems he know wants to get rid of Courtney. (Was he only humoring her?) This suggestion to vote off a female is frowned upon by Parvati.
Now comes the moment that confounds me most this episode, Danielle comes and asks Court and Sandra, "Are you cool?" (What did they not show us? Something had to be left on the editing room floor.)

Tribal Council
This was by far my favorite tribal council so far this season. (Not because Coach went home, frankly, I was sad to see him go.) Jeff (heretofore known as Jeffery courtesy of Courtney) starts off by grilling the tribe as to why they have voted out two strong players in a row. Double D stands by her decision, saying she thought it best at the time. Then comes the funniest moment, well one of them, when Coach brushes off a compliment from Jeffery with a wave of the hand saying, "Eh." (I don't think Probst intended it as a compliment, he just stated a fact, but Coach took it that way. Pure comedy, Coach your antics will be missed.)
Then we see Jeffery insult Courtney by saying, "Ninety-nine out of a hundred people would choose Boston Rob or Tyson over Courtney. (I think his math is a little off. To me the choice wouldn't even be between your strongest and weakest, I'd cut Jerri or Danielle loose, someone in the middle not too weak or too strong, someone you won't necessarily miss. Like I said last week I think it was a mistake to take out Rob, but I also said you'd be stupid to vote out Courtney too.)
Courtney did not take kindly to Jeffery lobbying for her dismissal. (Can you blame her, Probst is pretty much saying, vote her out, she's the reason you're here." I disagree they're there due to bad strategy not any single player.) Probst has apparently fallen prey to the heroes assumption that the villain women are an alliance and begins to berate Courtney for voting out Rob. But she is quick to inform him she played no part in his or Tyson's demise.
Courtney and Coach then begin to bicker, ending with Courtney responding to Coach's condescension, saying, "Thanks dad." She then admits that she is the, "Poster child for weak survivors" but assures the nay sayers and slayer, that, "Twisted ankle, skinny chick, whatever, I'm a determined little b!+ch, and I will put up with alot of crap to get to the end." This independent woman, feminist manifesto earned her a fist bump from her compatriot Sandra, and with that it is time to vote.

The Vote
A stunned Coach is voted by a 4 to 3 margin, becoming the first member of the jury. (I don't like it, I didn't agree with it in Fiji and I don't now, you should never have a jury member before the merge. Coach didn't spend a single day with any of the heroes, yet he is suppossed to give them a vote for one million dollars.) With Coach on the jury we are garunteed a three person final tribal, I'm an old school survivor fan so I'd prefer a final two, but what are you going to do.
A quick rundown of the vote: Parv, DD, Sandra, and Court voted for Coach, while Russell, Coach, and Jerri voted for Courtney. Why did Russell not vote with his alliance? (this may be the first time in his two seasons that he's been on the wrong side of the vote.) I have to believe he knew Coach was gone and his vote was simply a play for the first member of the jury. I think the fact that he signed his parchment proves he knew and was scheming. But I can't help think it was an unnecessary risk. If I'm his alliance, I don't appreciate being the bad guy, in their case girls, while Russell plays up the hero role and courts jury votes. Oh I almost forgot, it was funny how Courtney put Coach's name in quotes on the parchment, indicating that he's not a real Coach anymore.

Next Time on Survivor
Will JT make the dumbest move immaginable?
Will the tribes merge?
Will Rupert bring home another random skank?
And finanlly, who will Jeffery target for elimination next week?
Hopefully the answer to these and all your survivor questions on the next episode.
Now, if you would, please join me in a moment of silent contemplation for the living legend Ben "Coach" Wade.
He came,
He played,
He got slayed.